How Anger Serves
Updated: Jul 25, 2019
Recently, I watched the amazing Ted Talk by JP Sears "Saying YES! to your weirdness" and it sums up a lot of what we strive for: uniqueness and authenticity. Be uniquely you because no one else can, is something that we hear quite frequently. My concern, however, is that we haven't really been set up that way.
I think we can all say, we know how to be happy or that we know what happy looks like. That we strive towards it and we turn happiness into fond memories that all new experiences are held too. It's actually quite easy to pinpoint those moments and freely talk about them.
However, when it comes to living authentically - we do need to consider what to do with all the times we are not proud to show off. For example: anger, despair, frustration, sadness, impatience. What do these look like when we talk about being ourselves or living authentically? Unfortunately, I think, we are really good at sweeping these under the carpet without truly embracing what they mean for us.
What would happen if we accepted our ego, our anger and sadness as part of who we are? What if we attended those learning moments with grace and acceptance?
Listen, no one loves a well placed F-Bomb more than me. When said with perfect tone, clarity and pitch, something in me shifts and just settles a little. It is a powerful tool for me.
I have learned to accept the anger in that moment, as part of what makes me who I am. I don't beat myself up over it, afterall, shit happens. But, because of the outburst and my acceptance of it- I am able to adjust, get pointed in the right direction and move forward with a sense of calm. In fact, my reaction is quickly adjusted and replaced with a next move that actually serves rather than takes. Had I ignored or held on to the anger I was feeling, I am sure it could have easily turned into resentment. Now, I learn something about myself: the reaction was for nothing, what example am I setting for kids, was I wrong, etc.
The acceptance of your anger helps fuel who you are, it is part of you just as much as happiness, love and yes, grief too. All of these are an important part in the definition of who you are. Ask anyone who has had a major life breakthrough. It more often than not, is the result of something hard they had to work through. Ignoring painful things stops growth and covering them with saccharine is the worst thing we can do! I think we have all heard "this too shall pass" or "it gets easier everyday". Honestly, it's all bullshit. Somethings, never pass or get easier. What they can do however, is be our teachers. Somethings become part of who we are and live with us forever. They make us strong, vulnerable and brave. This is what is unique about you
I've ranted on the #behappy mindlessness that we are seeing on Instagram and Facebook. It's time to stand up for Pain, Anger, Ego, Grief and Sadness. These are tools that help develop who you are and to understand more about your authenticity and uniqueness, accepting these as part of your make up is one of the bravest things you can do.
Photo by Jason Rosewell on Unsplash